Card Game Review - Seven Dragons

How much do you have to change a game to make it a new game? I mean, assuming you're not Reiner Knizia - he just changes the art and sells the same game two or three times. But I mean if you're someone else, someone who is not in a position to mastermind an overthrow of the German government, how many new rules do you have to put into a game to make it something different?If you're Looney Labs, the answer is one. One thing changes, and you've got...

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RPG Expansion Review - Blood in Ferelden

You can tell a lot about a roleplaying game by reading through its premade adventures. Lots of games don't have published adventures at all, and those games are most likely created by lazy people. Honestly, if you can't think of a story to tell in a world you made yourself, you're either boring or you're just not trying very hard.Other games have adventures that are about as interesting as a plateful of sawdust and mattress stuffing. Those writers...

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Card Game Review - War of Honor

Sometimes, as a game reviewer, it's interesting to look at the games I haven't played. Legend of the Five Rings is a good example. The game has been around almost as long as Magic: The Gathering. It has a huge fan base, and is still going strong in a market where most other collectible card games go belly up within three years. And yet I never so much as bought a starter. Probably I never tried the game because I don't much care about the theme....

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Taxi Driver of the Apocalypse - The Whole Damned Story

It's about time I got back to writing game reviews, before I have to change the heading at the top of the page to read, 'random articles about whatever is crossing my mind right now,' and then I'll just be another inane blogger telling nobody in particular about my pets and recent bathroom visits. While Taxi Driver of the Apocalypse was handy, and gave me something to post until I could recover from pneumonia enough to play some games, it also would have taken another three weeks to finish the story.I've got a game played and half the review written....

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Taxi Driver of the Apocalypse - The Hook

Part One: The IntroPart Two: The SetupThe HookThe first notion I had that something wasn't right was when a hand grenade went off in my ballsack. I sat straight up, gasping for air, trying to scream, and realized that there were two very unpleasant men in the room. One of them had just punched me in the nuts.I curled up in a ball and cradled my wounded jewels, trying hard not to throw up. My gun was under the bed, but theirs were in their hands. Even if I hadn't been sucking wind and naked under the sheets, I couldn't have grabbed my piece before...

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The Spoils Contest - Results

And now, the moment almost none of you have been waiting for, the winners in The Spoils contest! I know that you are all dying with anticipation, waiting impatiently to find out what happens on some television show you're watching. Well, I don't know, because I'm not watching that show. But I do know who won The Spoils contest, so that will have to do.There were a bunch of entries, but my favorite in the batch was one I got right at the start of the contest, because I was still chuckling at the name three weeks later. And the winning card name,...

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Taxi Driver of the Apocalypse - The Setup

In case you missed it, here's a link to the first part of this story.Part One: The IntroPart Two: The SetupIt was a gray day in North Texas. Grayer than normal, and that's saying something. I was in what was left of Sundance Square, which used to be a bar-hopping tourist trap in Fort Worth but was now a handful of barricaded buildings and burned-out storefronts. My last fare had been unusually accommodating, and left me a fat tip on top of the hefty fee it had cost him to get a ride through the wasteland of the Mid Cities. Maybe he was just feeling...

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Taxi Driver of the Apocalypse - The Intro

The apocalypse finally came around, and nobody really noticed.Sure, there were a few loony bastards who started screaming about the End Times when that flu epidemic came across the Pacific and starting killing people in San Diego. And yes, a couple armchair prognosticators told anyone who would listen that the high price of gas meant the end of civilization. But even when the war for South American oil fields spilled over into Mexico and as far as the southern bits of the US of A, most people just sort of shrugged and said, 'what are you gonna...

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Movie Review - Zombie Strippers

I went back to the doctor Saturday, and found out that there are two kinds of pneumonia. One kind is the normal kind, the kind where you get a shot in your ass and take some antibiotics and get better. The other kind is where you get more shots in your ass and take more antibiotics and maybe get better, but not for a couple weeks. Turns out, I had the second kind. So instead of playing games this weekend, I slept for about 30 hours. Then I woke up...

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Not a Review At All - Rain

Pneumonia is still keeping me from playing games. So instead of a review, here's a short story.The rain in this part of the city never cleans anything. It stirs up the filth in the dumpsters, streaks the soot on the walls of the dive bars and strip joints, and gathers in greasy puddles in the parking lots and gutters, making miniature lakes with islands of discarded fast-food wrappers and cigarette butt canoes.I'm standing outside The Last Chance at closing time, just out of sight, listening to the strains of Frank Sinatra on the jukebox leaking...

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Pathetic Excuse - Pneumonia

I didn't play any games Saturday, unless 'blowing my nose into a hand towel for twelve hours' is a game. And if it is, I don't know if I won or lost.It started Friday afternoon, when I started to get a little tickle in the back of my throat. It sort of feels like when you get a piece of popcorn stuck halfway down, and you spend the whole afternoon trying to clear your throat. Only it's not really popcorn, it's actually a teensy weensy infected spot that's about to leave you bedridden all weekend.I woke up Saturday morning feeling like I snorted...

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Expansion Review - Nightfall: Martial Law

For just a second, I was thinking about deliberately misspelling the title of the new Nightfall expansion. Not because it's bad - on the contrary, I love it. More like poking fun at myself for screwing up the last one. But then I remembered, that would be stupid.So instead, I'll just tell you how much fun Martial Law is, and not call it Marsha Law (I once knew a girl named Marsha Law. Her parents must have been dropping acid while listening to Nine...

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Expansion Review - Dice Town Expansion

Dice Town has been a favorite around my house for a while now. Something about rolling dice, playing poker, and hosing your friends makes this a great game to break out when everyone just wants to goof off for an hour or so. It's two parts cutthroat, three parts luck, and fourteen parts using the ol' noggin. The game itself is not in whatever top-ten game list I might have, but I've probably played it more than 90% of the games I own now.And now...

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