TV Review - Black Books

I've always kind of wanted to own a book store. I would sit in the back, appraising rare and cool books, and talk down to people who knew less than I did. My book store would be dark and a little cramped, with a layout a little bit like a hedge maze, and there would be stacks of stuff where you could trip and be buried under an avalanche of bad James Patterson thrillers.

I think that's why I love Black Books so much. It's a British comedy about possibly the worst bookstore in England. The title character, Bernard Black, is a depressing shut-in and alcoholic who steadfastly refuses to clean up after himself. His best friend, Fran, is a neurotic lush who can't keep a boyfriend. And his only employee, Manny, is almost the complete opposite of both of them - smart and orderly, outgoing and friendly, and oddly enough, the perfect yin to Bernard's grouchy yang.

Black Books could be a lame buddy sitcom, like The Odd Couple or Bosom Buddies. But instead, it's hysterically amusing and terrifically absurd. Like when Manny discovers he is a piano prodigy, and ends up hiding inside the piano to play it with spoons so that Fran and Bernard can pretend they're actually competent. Or when Fran goes on vacation, just to find that Manny has gone next door to work for the well-lit chain bookstore next door and Bernard is living among moldy books, wine spills and dead badgers.

It's almost impossible to describe how bizarrely hilarious Black Books is. When Manny accidentally ingests - and then absorbs - the Little Book of Calm, he walks around like Jesus in a bathrobe, dropping serene quips that somehow sound like the wisdom of a holy man, in spite of being holistic health tips. When the Manny and Bernard accidentally drink a ridiculously expensive bottle of wine, they end up poisoning a prominent religious leader. The apartment behind the shop is so dirty that they sometimes have to kill the messes before they can throw them away. It's surreal and hilarious and brilliant.

To make the humor just a little more edgy, Bernard is not just a crotchety shut-in. He's actually bad people. He delights in the misery he inflicts on Manny, and mistreats his customers so badly that he rarely manages to sell anything. When a little boy comes up short for the book he wants to buy, Bernard tells him, 'I've never told anyone this before, but… You're going to have to get a job.' As a customer buys a book from him, Bernard tells him, 'Enjoy. It's dreadful, but it's quite short.' He's always a mess, and always drunk. And while you probably won't feel sorry for him, you can't stop laughing at him.

It's a little odd that I am this fond of Black Books, actually. I am usually not a fan of shows where the main characters lose all the time. I can't help but be amused at the antics of Arrested Development or Curb Your Enthusiasm, but I just can't watch them for too long without wanting to get depressed. Sometimes I want to see the heroes win.

And while the main characters in Black Books don't ever win, per se, it's made palatable by the fact that they absolutely have it coming. Bernard is painfully blunt and totally hilarious, and you love to see him lose because he's such an asshole. Fran is so self-absorbed that you really don't mind when she winds up on the losing end all the time. And while Manny does suffer regular abuse, the beauty of the show is that he's actually completely happy with his life, because he hated being a buttoned-up accountant and he loves the madcap hijinks. So I guess I like Black Books because the good guy gets to be happy and the bad guys are always miserable.

If you're a fan of dry British sitcoms with a bizarre and twisted bent, you really ought to check out Black Books. The only other British comedy that comes close to being this amusing is Black Adder. If you've never watched a British comedy, just try one episode of Black Books. If you don't find yourself laughing like an idiot, then this brand of goofy just isn't for you. But if, like me, you wind up chuckling and giggling and outright guffawing at the implausible stupidity and malignant narcissism, then you're in for a treat.